Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's Official!

We have officially moved to Knittin' Kittens! I am now a dot com!

Monday, July 10, 2006

The Language of Summer

For some reason, summer is much like studying for a test; I just keep repeating the same things over and over again. So today, I decided it was time for a change. It was time for a solution to two daily issues that have, in the past, been driving me insane.

1) I cannot even tell you how many times a day I have a pissed off child in my face, whining, crying or hollaring about how "Aaron pulled down my pants in the pool!" or "Jarrit kicked me!" I think the numbers are minimally in the hundreds. So, after the 501 time today, I called both children inside and laid down the following rule: They were no longer aloud to touch each other. Period. Any touching of any kind that I saw or that was reported, would result in one half hour in their bedrooms. That rule was laid down three hours ago and there has not been one touching incident since.

2) My oldest son, who we now know has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) loves to argue. He can ask me a question, I can give him the answer and from there the argument ensues. (Which may say something about me as an arguer as well). So today, this rule is now established: Once I tell Aaron the answer, I am finished discussing it. Period. It took him awhile to catch on, as I threw away his Boy's Life magazine after it had laid on the front porch (which with a huge trampoline and now a pool in my backyard, is my domain) and he was not real happy about it. He asked if he could get it back out of the trash and I told him no, and then proceeded to do the dishes while listening to this monologue:
"Mom? Mom? Mom? Can I have it back? Mom? Please? I want it! Mom?"

He finally got the picture and gave up.

So, on Saturday, we knitted! Pretend there are pictures here because guess what? Right! Blogger is being, well, Blogger. I'm in discussions with the Brit on my own domain name because I have enough frustration in my life right now that my freakin' BLOG does not need to be one of them!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Post Script

I just wanted to add that I am doing a bit better since my earlier post. I'm in the process of baking cookies for tomorrow's gathering of Fiber Fanatics. I slipped out tonight, in my first moment alone all day, to go pick up a prescription for Aaron. I was having a little heart to heart with God, while listening to my ever present Contemporary Christian radio station. About the time I said "Amen" the station chose to play one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns. I just thought I'd share the lyrics with you.

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen"and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

Chorus:I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I just wanted to share. I love these reminders that I am never alone. The situation is still the same, but God is with me...always.

Sometimes there's no where to go but up

This life that we have been given to live in can be hard. Really, really hard. You are thrown all sorts of circumstances, without first being given the tools to deal with these problems. Life doesn't come with a manual and there is no teacher who can teach you how to deal with the day to day problems that can seem so ginormous; problems that are bigger than you are, problems that you CAN'T solve no matter how much you want to.

You plod on and on trying to do the right things, and when those things don't work, you pick yourself up and dust yourself back off and try again. A new tactic. A new possibility. You've always known exactly who you are and you've known exactly who you are not, but suddenly it has all gotten so out of control and you are walking a thin line between who you are and who you don't want to become. Then you are stuck again, trying to figure out the right thing to do, all the while wallowing in guilt, shame, and fear, knowing that on some level you failed.

But what you also find is an understanding of people you once subconsciously judged. You can so clearly see how it all went wrong again, and again and again. You understand fighting against your own inner demons, constantly pushing yourself to sum up more patience, more tolerance, even though your reserve of these things has long been depleted. You find yourself envious of the people who seem to have an endless supply of these things when you need it so much more.

Then the questioning begins. The wondering why God brought you to this horrible place of uncertainty. You're sure He made a mistake because there are way better solutions to this problem then you. The problem is no one person's fault, but you are left to deal with it and a life may very well hang in the balance. Screwing it up is not an option. It can't be.

So you are left with nothing left but prayer. You can't guide yourself out of this place of darkness; you've tried and wound up more lost than before. Only God knows how all of this is going to turn out and even though where you are right now may not have been His will, you know He can make something good come out of it.

Pray for me. I don't like where I am.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Enough already!

Why are people so intimidated by the cross? I don't feel threatened by witches or even atheists. I don't feel inferior to buddist and as long as your religion doesn't cause you to think you need to harm others, I have no issues with it. Okay, so when we start removing the Ten Commandments from the courthouses, it gets under my skin a little but I try to remain open minded. But to remove a cross from a freakin' veterns memorial??? A cross that is there to honor people who died to defended our country?? Give me a big fat break. That cross potentially brings comfort to the families of the deceased, but people feel the need to get all ass-y about it, because it violates their right to not have to see it. Know what? CLOSE YOUR FREAKIN' EYES! IGNORE IT! Go some place else to honor the vets....let's face it, if you don't believe in heaven, they're simply dead people. You can honor them from the comfort of your own cross-less home!

I constantly ignore those fish emblems on cars that say "Darwin" in the middle of it. Though that is not a violation of church and state, I could very easily find it offensive and it could cause me unnecessary suffering. But I'm not that dramatic. (Though now I may get a little dramatic). We have people in this country dying of disease, hunger, malnutrtion, child abuse and neglect and numerous other things, so hey, ya'll who are so up in arms about a CROSS? Go find yourselves a worthwhile cause! One that could actually safe a life perhaps! We have everything in danger from trees to whales, so go find yourselves a real cause! Because pitching a fit about an inanimate object that brings comfort to people is SO much more worthwhile!

I rank these people right up there with the goofballs who sue fast food joints because their coffee was HOT. HELLO? And then they win the case?? Again, HELLO? Americans have gone off the deep end and the judges and authorities are just letting us get away with it by pandering to everyone's little whim. It's all so ridiculous. You can open the paper any day of the week and find any number of things to roll your eyes about. Let's face it, if I went before a judge and stated I totalled my car because I was so appalled about the fish Darwin thing, I'd probably win.

So if a mountain that has had a cross on it since 1913 is offending you that badly, find a different route to take. I'm sure that Mapquest could make some delightful cross-less suggestions. Or better yet, go and spend your time volunteering to find missing children, or to saving the ozone layer, or to keeping Japan from hunting whales to the brink of extinction. I think you would be alot happier at the end of your life if you did one of those things, as opposed to sucking the joy from Christians.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July!

You Are A: Pony!

ponyWho doesn't love a pony? You are one of these miniature horses, renown for your beauty and desired by many. Full of grace, you are a beautiful and very special animal, with a long, flowing mane that blows in the breeze.

You were almost a: Puppy or a Duck
You are least like a: Groundhog or a ChipmunkThe Cute Animals Quiz

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Short and Sweet

It's been way hot and humid today. Even the cats are taking a break from their busy schedules to take a little siesta in the sweltering heat.

And now you see it:

Now you don't:

Friday, June 30, 2006

It is finished

So, I'm slightly loopy from vicodin, but not really in any pain. The procedure went very well, considering the lack of "twilight" and my own terror. An IV in each hand, then using the tourniquet, they got all the blood out of my forearm and the administered a numbing agent. My arm just felt VERY asleep. Never felt her make the incision, or anything. Overall, just a bit uncomfortable but no pain. So any of you who may read this and need a bier block, can rest in peace! No big deal. Honestly.

I'm not going to type much as I do have a little cast on my right hand to immobilize my thumb and wrist. I do have use of my fingers, but typing is just a bit awkward, so no big posts for a week or so. I'll try to entertain you with pictures if Blogger behaves (my last post we were again back to refusing to post pics). Just wanted to let everyone know that all is well!